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Exploring the Parent-Child-Nature Relationship

Reflections, Readings and Research

An Old Relationship & A New Understanding

7/25/2016

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Here, I share some of my concluding take aways from reflecting on my parent-child-nature relationship during this program and study:

  • I set out to build a nature connection for my son. What I discovered is in the end the parent-child-nature (PCN) relationship created the opportunity to reconnect myself to the natural world - which I didn't realize I was missing. Going out into a natural setting with a child as my companion demanded me to slow down, follow another's lead, and experience the curiosities of the natural world through a child.  I'm starting to feel that parental reconnection to the natural world, or perhaps to their former child in nature, has an important role to play in connecting our children. 
 
  •  To symbolize my current appreciation of the PCN relationship, I gravitated towards an old caribou antler as part of a reflection activity during the study's concluding focus group. The growing of the antlers represented the developing PCN relationship with the idea of new 'branches' evolving in this relationship with my son over time. The shedding of the antlers, as part of the natural cycle, symbolizes the shedding of my previous understandings and assumptions as a parent with my child in nature. The fact that this cycle of growing and shedding is an old cycle for the caribou symbolized, for me, that the PCN relationship is an old cycle as well. And that for the purpose of this study we are only giving a name to this old relationship and the time to pay some attention to it through our reflections and develop an appreciation for what it can offer us as parents/families in the new millennium.











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Study Reflection 8                                               Bebo Grove, Fish Creek PP                                 June 18th, 2016

6/20/2016

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 Today was our 8th and final event of the spring program and study. I selected a few closing activities; a drumming "sound and seek" game and a "Hoot" rock ceremony. Of course, water was a big part of our morning too!

Today my senses were filled! 

What I saw:
-A path with fallen obstacles (trees) which were not barriers for families but invitations to hop, climb and explore! 
-Smell containers eagerly filled with forest spices such as: dandelion flowers, fuzzy seeds and leaves, spruce needles, horsetail "leaves", soil and crystallized sap pieces (yum!)
- Deer with soft velvet antlers curious about our drumming sounds and the excitement of the group
-the kiddos patiently waiting for the sound of the drum and then running as a pack through the forest and off the trail to find the drum! Pure magic and joy!
-Children leading and parents following... off the trail
- New kiddos at the front of the pack both young and older running together and taking turns walking over mud on a wood plank.
- Creek excitement - turning attention and strategies to getting across.
- Rocks: tools, shapes, opportunities to build and create

What I feel:
- Excitement. Magic. A welcoming and playful forest.

What I think: There are so many magic spots created along the way where a community of  children convene, test, exchange, explore...these spots are like little eddies along the edges of a river: safe and swirling with activity, then we re-enter the current of the trail. Like an eddy, which is visible in a river, these magic spots in the forest seem to become visible after their discovery by children.




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Study Reflection 7                                                    Jack Rabbit Trail                           June 11, 2016

6/15/2016

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Show me, on my level, and I will happily engage. From grasshoppers to grass-layered cakes. Nature supplies the ingredients and we make the recipe!

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Our adventure is over for today, my hand in yours and my other happily connecting us to the source of our play! 

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Let me lead, and I will show you how to explore and what is important to me. Today I want to climb up away from the group, just you and me and the discovery of a fallen tree!

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Study Reflection 6                                                    June 4th, 2016                                                      Pearce Estate Park

6/5/2016

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For this event my son was sick so he was not present. It gave me an opportunity to observe and participate more with the other families. For my reflection I drew a map of our explorations and activities. But I felt that this didn't reflect the full experience...I still needed words.  So I started to write words to describe the general feeling of the parent-child-nature experience at each activity site. I recognized a total of five activity sites during this event; playground, pond dipping, snack, dock and stream.

​After some experimentation I decided to come up with a bank of words that could describe the various roles that the Parent (P), Child (C) and Nature (N) played in the experience.  

Word Bank
(to describe PCN roles in a specific experience):
  • Facilitator
  • Initiator
  • Supporter
  • Balancer (between risk and safety)
  • Discoverer
  • Collaborator
  • Learner
  • Provider

​Assigning these roles turned out to be a difficult task!  What I realized was that these roles are not always stationary and evolve with the experience as well as often being fluid between parent, child and nature. I recognize that the meaning of these words in the context of the PCN relationship will vary for each parent and that the outcomes for another parent experimenting with this activity would likely be quite different. However I stuck with the plan to assign one word to each partner to see what would happen. I learned something quite important about my understanding of the PCN relationship - which adds to my appreciation of it! I will share my discovery after showing a six pics from this exercise.

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What I realized during this exercise is that nature as a partner in the PCN relationship can often take on the role of "provider" and "facilitator" in the experience.  For me this is so important because I often feel that these roles fall into my domain as the parent. Which can be exhausting and can add stress or create tension between the parent-child relationship. What a relief it is to realize I can lean on nature as a partner to provide these roles, in certain contexts, in an experience for my son! It allows me to step out of this role I take on and provide me with some space to: relieve tension; become present; have some autonomy; or just engage in the stillness or playfulness of it all. 

Some other words I wanted to add to the word bank were: Invitor (this word doesn't exist!), Inventor, Demonstrator, Player, Leader...

However I wanted to keep the list short and I felt that some of the words were starting to overlap!

If you have other words to describe partner roles you have observed or experienced as part of the PCN relationship- I would love to hear them!

​Alex
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Study Reflection 5 Confederation Park           May 28, 2016

5/30/2016

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Dandelions, ducklings and special places

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 I'm starting to realize how it is the everyday things in nature that I often take for granted that are of huge interest for young children...however I think I'm getting better at anticipating this. An example of this was the ground squirrels at Fish Creek and at this event it was the dandelions! It felt like we could have stayed in each of these spots for the whole 1.5 hour program! I wonder what would have emerged then?   

As an educator I felt like I should have planned the program around the dandelions however as a parent it was wonderful experiencing the group play unfolding around the dandelions - from picking bouquets, to watching them float down the stream and over a little rapid. I think treating everything as a "teachable moment" can zap some of the magic out of the experience for both adult and child. Which leaves me to contemplate how we as parents choose to participate in our children's emerging play in nature.
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Sometimes I choose to direct and shape, sit back and watch or enter in the play. I think all of these choices shape my parent-child-nature relationship in various ways and I think they each have their value in our experience together...it's feeling for the right time to enter into one of these parental roles that can be a challenge.

My favourite moment with Francis today was when he laid on the snack blanket before families arrived and was looking up at the trees - here I had a choice: direct and shape (ex: "What do you see?"), sit back and watch or enter in the play or experience (ex: Lay down beside him.). I choose in this case to snap some pics...which felt more like sit back and watch. However, I felt like I intruded in on the experience...but sometimes I do that and sometimes I enter in and others times it's his very own. Thinking of that as I write this - I realize it was all three! Perhaps it is never really exclusively one or the other in the parent-child-nature relationship...but a careful...no a caring combination.





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Reflection 4                                                                 May 14, 2016                                                       Carburn Park

5/17/2016

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Spring Colours and Feathered Families

What I am left wondering:
Parenting in nature and what we are learning from each other.
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Study Reflection 3                                                    May 7th, 2016                                                    Shannon Terrace

5/17/2016

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What I feel
Excitement, satisfaction, cohesiveness, community, fun

 
What I saw
Community of plants and animals
A community of children
Comforts increasing in exploring and with the “routine” of the program
For older children a desire to take more initiative or ownership or have choice in their explorations and take the lead
Children starting to become a flock, a herd or a pack -leading and following
For myself: Wanting to stick to the planned program, keep on schedule. Adult world.
Children living more from moment to moment, feeling to feeling, experience to experience (assumption).  How to blend these worlds? Have the experience work for both adult and child? How to learn from eachother?

 
Ground Squirrel Town
Heads popping up
Children leaning in
Cautious curiosity quickly turning into play and boundary testing
Boundary testing…always creating immediate friends and allies
How close, how fast and how many?  
Boundaries between our above ground human world swirling and mixing with
Ground squirrel town
Mysterious homes below
Maybe, subtly and gently
Becoming part of our homes, ourselves
Temporarily 
Maybe more

 
What I think
A group of families is starting to become a community of families

 
What I Wonder: 
  1. What would have happened during the program if we had just followed the lead of the children down a path of their choosing? Maybe chaos, maybe more Band-Aids, maybe more discovery, surprises and understanding.
  2. When does a group of families become a community of families? What elements can support a community of families developing? Is it just time spent together? I think it is more than that. Shared experiences, care for the whole group and group experience….the setting. Are natural settings key? Nature as partner in shaping community…


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Study Reflection 2                                        Inglewood Bird Sanctuary                                     April 30, 2016

5/3/2016

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 Tired
With a ready to live in contrary to my suggestions - son
Worried
What other conflicts besides getting dressed and into the car with arise today
Ok the step of getting into the car again proves to be the hardest 
We are rolling, horizon is ahead
Although it is not bright there are possibilities
There are trains
There are snacks
There is a snack blanket and a family nature club blanket my son observes...or proclaims!
​There are families
"When are we going home?"
We are carried forward, not backward, on a wave of families
Momentum to keep going, to turn ideas of home, for now, into...
birds
deer
snacks
dirt
Hide and seek
Energy and play is beckoned by the old brick house
Kids take charge
There are no hesitations
"Let the wild rumpus begin!" 
Going home is forgotten
Believe it or not...the sun comes out
Tired but free of parent-child tensions
​We stay





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The PCN Triad

4/29/2016

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Urban Wild Study Reflection 1:                    Bowness Park April 23rd

4/25/2016

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What I feel:

Joy
Shared Joy 
Offering, engaging

Natural
Families a swirl of colours
Mixing with spring
Inviting companions
Inspire
                                               Rippling, unfolding
                                              Shared path
                                              Joy

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What I wonder:
​So much of my interest and readings so far have had a focus on  the role of adults as important companions in nature for children however I am starting to wonder about the effects of going out in nature on adults with children as their companions in nature...
In other words: children as important companions in nature for adults.

What I think
A community of families as an important setting to nurture the parent-child-nature relationship.

What I understand
My son 
comfortable
happy
staying close to the ground,
close to one significant adult
observing
smiling
snacking
holding my hand, a stick
or the soft cold earth 
​

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    Alex O'Rourke 
    Environmental Educator, Parent, Former Child in Nature

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